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MIKE S. - INTERVIEW #11
HOW TO ENGAGE: WATCH by clicking the video up top (or visit YouTube), LISTEN by clicking the audio link below.
THE BREAKDOWN:
0:00 - Meet Mike, a stranger I met at a wedding in Fort Lauderdale, FL.
3:18 - How he ended up at that wedding. (A story of friendship & video games)
11:45 - Ok so, who is Mike?
18:30 - Intergenerational Military Service. (From WIZZO to SERE Specialist)
32:25 - A job like any other. (costs & benefits)
40:57 - You are never too old to change. (Maybe)
59:00 - What about your mother? (and Pap Pap!)
1:15:00 - An interested family man, who loves LEGO.
1:25:00 - News alert: literacy and reading, important stuff. No matter your politics.
1:39:00 - When in doubt, ask why? (A way forward)
DEBRIEF:
Mike is by far the most different from me than any of the previous people I have interviewed. He is also the person I know the least. As he mentions in our conversation, it is unlikely that we’d cross paths in our day to day lives. Unlikely that we’d travel in the same circles. But as fate would have it, we met at a very noisy rooftop bar in Fort Lauderdale, FL the night before a mutual friend's wedding.
I was there with my husband. The groom was one of his old fraternity bros, so I knew almost no one at these nuptials. As a Canadian, and as a non fraternity-forward human, this is not a culture I know very much about. And being the judgmental dickhead that I can sometimes be, I have been fairly critical of it throughout my life. I do however have a fondness for bros and was curious to meet the folks my partner spent so much of his youth with. Mike, on the other hand, knew only the groom because they had met online while playing video games during the pandemic (very cute story).
There has been a lot of talk going around about needing to be able to have conversations that cross social and cultural boundaries. Conversations where we, dare I say, tolerate and maybe even appreciate, someone who’s life choices and views present, at least superficially, as radically different then our own. We need to repair the divide, they say. Everyone is stuck in their own echo chamber, too fragile (on either side) to withstand a simple conversation.
Not a debate, a conversation.
I hate debates. I really do. I understand their purpose but I hate how ingrained they are in our society. As a structure, debate inherently limits how we communicate with each other. It’s as if we have cannibalized our ability to listen and genuinely engage because of an insatiable appetite for winning. Or maybe it’s an intolerance for losing? Or an inability to withstand complexity and hold multiple conflicting (but true) statements simultaneously? In debate there’s a winner, but in life, there is just you and me. We have all kinds of labels that we use to categorize people as winners (dominant/powerful/successful/rich) and losers (weak/vulnerable/failure/poor) but those are just more words we use to solidify the divide. A divide that is internal, as much as it is tearing our social fabric apart.
This is one of my favorite interviews. It challenged me in unexpected ways, and I learned a lot. Mike showed up in spades to share who he is and what he’s about and I am so thankful that he trusted me. There’s a lot in our interview - much of which I wish I could have gone further into - but we’ll have to save that for another time. For now, meet Mike, an open and curious man.
Ps. I know this interview is pretty long, but if Joe Rogan can do it - than so can I!
THOUGHTS & THINGS: (Just thoughts edition.)
BIRTH CHART READINGS: A very unsurprising thing about me is that I have had my birth chart read on several occasions in my life. I think that it is a very cool thing to do yearly, or even every few years, to check in with your soul's journey. For those of you who’s eyes have already rolled to the back of your head - LEAN IN or skip this bit.
read my chart last week and she said that while we all tend to compare ourselves, ultimately, everyone's on their own timeline. I do tend to agree with this and it’s why I appreciate astrology, because it’s a map of you. Not a map of some idealized character but a rich and freaky tapestry of all that you were and all that you can become. I have no idea if what I just said makes any sense (I’m not an astrologer) BUT that’s my takeaway. And as a person that has struggled with accepting who I am and finding my place, it is incredibly comforting to know that at least there’s a map somewhere out there that I am following. One that allows me to understand that I am where I should be, for me, and that that is all I need to know. THANKS PLANETS. Also, Jaime told me that I am unlikely to ever have a normal job but that I will have patrons. I’LL TAKE IT. (Ie. consider becoming a paid subscriber!)ON MOVING: The day after I got my birth chart read I moved. We had a rodent infestation for months. It was hell. But we were there for four years and we loved it, if it weren’t for the uninvited guests. Alas, sometimes change comes in the form of disgusting little creatures that live in your oven. Messengers of the night, forcing you out of your comfort zone. Now we’re in a new home and it makes many noises, but it’s pretty cute, besides the fact that it doesn’t have a working oven. I have moved MANY TIMES in my life (there is likely some trauma stuff there) yet I have a very difficult time being in a state of upheaval. I like for everything around me to be in its place, organized, and set up - right away. I can be pretty intense in these moments. A rather frightening, but also quite productive, part of my personality comes out. She’s on top of her game but she’s a fucking maniac. She operates out of some kind of fear for her own survival, which makes her difficult to be around, but one hell of an unpacker and IKEA furniture builder.
MEETING THE SHADOW: The second night in our new home I sat in the bath and cried while listening to this podcast. A cry is only normal after such a laborious life shift. We're meeting a lot of shadow in the world right now. There’s truth in shadow, which makes it difficult to face, and all the more impossible to deny.
CONCLUSIONS:
I have one more interview coming out in two weeks which will wrap what I am calling season 2 (6 interviews per season) and then I’m gonna take a moment to think about what I’m doing and the direction of things. I’ll probably think out in the open, as I do, but all to say, if YOU have thoughts for me - I’d love to hear them. Thanks for reading/watching/listening - I appreciate you!
Thank you for reading A LIFE BASED LOOSELY ON REALITY! Please like or comment on this post below and share it with a friend who you think would enjoy it. Right now all of my posts are free, but any and all financial support is deeply appreciated. Paid subscriptions will go towards helping to support my work and develop this project. More about me here.
Send interview inquiries to vanessameyer85@gmail.com.
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